Customer Service/Front End: miserable from dealing with customers all day.
Found – front end or break room
Demographics – Made up of teenagers and the elderly.
Clique – Only hangs out with other front end employees.
Sick of hearing – “It didn’t ring up? It must be free!”
Most likely to have an emotional breakdown at work.
Grocery: The unicorns of grocery, near impossible to find a grocery employee when you need one.
Found: Outside in a group on a cigarette break at 3 in the morning.
Demographics – Younger people (insomniacs/potheads)
Sick of hearing – “You’re tall, can you do the top shelf?” OR “Do you have any more of these in the back?” (added by /u/rebeltactics)
Clique – Only hangs out with other grocery people
Most likely to pipe Radiohead over the speakers between midnight and 4 AM so they don’t kill their buzz.
Produce: Usually first sight upon entering a grocery store.
Found – setting up their department in the morning
Demographics – Late 20’s-30’s family men
Clique – Hangs out with meat department
Sick of hearing – “What is the difference between a Fuji apple and a Gala apple?”
Most likely to be be perfectionists after years of working in the most visible department in the grocery store.
Deli: Department that needs the most hours to produce the smallest profit.
Found – Trying to avoid eye contact with the angry woman staring daggers at them while they try to finish what they are doing.
Demographics – Middle aged women and former restaraunt employees.
Clique – Hangs out with Bakery
Sick of hearing – “Just a biiiiiiiiit thinner.” … “No, now it’s too thin.
Most likely to be the first department to get their hours cut. Also most likely to be asked “Why is your customer service and product quality suffering?” after the hours have been cut.
Bakery: Very similar to deli, but generally better morale.
Found – Trying to figure out where the hell something is in that mess of a freezer.
Demographics – Middle aged women
Clique – Hangs out with deli
Sick of hearing – “Is it fresh baked?”
Most likely to have a 65+ year old woman who is 5 foot 2 and 95 lbs and can break down a pallet of 50 lb boxes better than anyone in the store.
Meat Department: A lot easier than it was years ago, but still requires a strong back and a lot of knowledge.
Found – Trying to impress the cute ladies in the front end when they come around with “bring backs”
Demographics – Mainly men
Clique – Hangs out with Produce
Sick of hearing – “So it is organic and gluten-free? WHY ISN’T IT FREE RANGE?”
Most likely to believe they are the rock stars of the grocery world.
Dairy: The hidden department. These guys and girls keep to their coolers and provide a lot of staple items.
Found – In their coolers
Demographics – Young people
Clique – Hangs out with frozen
Sick of hearing – “Hey, can we keep our backstock in your cooler? We’re out of room.”
Most likely to be conveniently loading milk when the soccer moms come in and bend low to get their gallon.
Frozen: They don’t necessarily provide staple items but still provide a valuable service.
Found – Freezing their asses off
Demographics – mixed age/gender
Clique – Hangs out with Dairy
Sick of hearing – “Where are the frozen pizzas?” Said by a person standing in front of the sign that says “frozen pizzas”
Most likely to wonder why the hell Deli and Bakery can’t come and break down their own god damned load.
Bob: Bob goes by many names and is in many stores in many states. He has worked grocery since he lost his factory job in ’73. He has no specific department, but gave up his management position in ’98 because of his ulcer.
Found – moving pallets, helping customers, answering “damn young people’s” questions, and being grumpy.
Demographic – 60+ male.
Clique – “Fuck off”
Sick of hearing – “Bob, you’re the only one who can help me…”
Most likely to call the 48 year old store manager, “that kid.”